“THE CHOKE is the parody side of ClutchPoints. Everything seen and heard here is purely for entertainment and comedic purposes.”
CLEVELAND—The 2017-18 All-NBA teams leaked on Thursday afternoon, and one member of the Cleveland Cavaliers was distraught with the results. After boasting stellar averages of 8.3 points, 2.9 rebounds, and 1.8 assists, J.R. Smith was convinced he’d finally make an All-NBA team for the first time in his illustrious career. Instead, he didn’t receive a single vote.
“It’s f**king outrageous. A modern atrocity. I’ve had it with these sabermetric-minded, armchair quarterbacks who don’t respect my game. For 14 years I’ve carried Carmelo Anthony and now LeBron James with my flawless jumper, and for what? One Sixth Man of the Year award? S**t man, I’m done.
“Wait for Game 6 back in The Land. They’ll see they f**ked up.”
