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The Choke

Enes Kanter to Start Game 1 as LeBron James’ Waterboy

Enes Kanter, LeBron James

The Choke is satire. This is not real. What’s really anyway? Are we even, in the grand scheme of things, real? Let’s not talk about semantics of realness. Bluh.

Enes Kanter wants LeBron James to prove he’s the real king of New York. Oddly enough, the Cleveland Cavaliers superstar would like the New York Knicks big man to be his personal waterboy.

For the uninitiated, Kanter said the following in a Twitter Q&A because why in the heck not?

“People keep debating about who is the king of New York. … Hey LeBron, yes, you really want to be king of New York? Come and prove it. I’ll see you July 1st, brother. Good luck,” Kanter said.

That’s not just some super random dig, but one that dates back to this Instagram post from James:

When reached for comment, James and ClutchPoints had the following exchange:

CP: Did you hear what Enes Kanter had to say about you?

LBJ: Who?

CP: The big guy on the Knicks.

LBJ: Kristaps…

CP: No. The other big guy.

LBJ: Is Eddy Curry still there?

CP: … Did you hear what Enes Kanter had to say about you?

LBJ: What does he have to do with the Knicks? Wait. He’s on the Knicks? What did he say?

We relayed the quote you already read.

LBJ: King of New York? (Giggles loudly while eating a neon green grape) I don’t need to prove poop to that guy. What’s he think; that he can goat me to join his crappy team with his dopey owner by way of some BS Twitter challenge? I wouldn’t even dump an ice bucket over my head if Enerst Kanter asked me to.

CP: His name is Enes Kanter.

LBJ: Enerest. Enes. I don’t care. Cavs in four.

CP: …

LBJ: What’s his number? He can be my waterboy. Like, my personal waterboy. I will tip him every time he gets me a liquid refreshment. And by tip, I totally mean…

A PR person on behalf of James then cut the conversation short, but thanked us for bringing this to LeBron’s attention.

So, no real update if LeBron James is staying in Cleveland or headed to New York.