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The Choke

Carmelo Anthony wants trade to Suns to win Most Valuable Choker award

Carmelo Anthony, Suns

“THE CHOKE is a parody website. Everything seen and heard here is purely for entertainment and comedic purposes.”

Carmelo Anthony is seeking a trade from the Houston Rockets to the Phoenix Suns in order to claim a prestigious individual award.

Without having a realistic chance to ever win an MVP, or be considered legitimately good again, Melo is trying to position for a run at Most Valuable Choker.

You might be asking yourself, what is the MVC? And wouldn’t he be more likely to receive it by choking on a good team with expectations to win?

To answer your first question: The award goes to someone with relatively high expectations, who fails to achieve them.

As for your second question: You’re right, but no one has ever confused Carmelo Anthony with a brain surgeon, now have they?

Sources have told The Choke that Carmelo Anthony believes if he were to join the Suns he could start, shoot more shots, miss more shots, and be more of an overall debacle, thus increasing his chances at winning the award.

However, other sources have indicated it more likely puts him in position to win the Lifetime Melo Achievement award, which goes to people named Melo who are objectively bad at basketball.