Connect with us

The Choke

Derrick Rose celebrates career night by eating a dinosaur

Derrick Rose

“THE CHOKE is a parody website. Everything seen and heard here is purely for entertainment and comedic purposes.”

On Wednesday evening, Derrick Rose made history, scoring 50 points in a game the Minnesota Timberwolves desperately needed during the Jimmy Butler debacle.

To celebrate, Rose ate a dinosaur. Or, more accurately, he ate what he believed to be a dinosaur, as he fully doesn’t comprehend or understand the meaning of words.

“Dinosaurs are those things people eat with the spicy stuff, right?” Derrick Rose somewhat asked The Choke. “Like, dinosaur wing bites are the best, my man!”

As the attempted interview began to go off the rails, our intern politely explained to him how he is probably confusing chicken wings and/or bites with dinosaurs — which are, you know, extinct and can not be fried or grilled for a human’s pleasure.

“Wait…” Rose said while pausing, looking around as if he just saw a Nicolas Cage movie for the first time. “You’re trying to tell me there’s no such things as dinosaurs.”

After going on a rant over how he’s been lied to about the reality of dinosaurs for 35 minutes, Derrick Rose then began to ponder the meaning of life.

Like everyone else over the last 24 hours involved in Derrick Rose related PR-fluff, we just didn’t have the heart to tell him the truth.