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The Choke

Jimmy Butler is a good human being, maybe

Jimmy Butler

According to midterm results, it appears as though disgruntled Minnesota Timberwolves superstar Jimmy Butler is a decent member of the human species… maybe.

With 98 percent of the results in, half of those voted “yes” in regard to Butler’s moral positioning among the species. The other half, let me check the math real quick, says “no.”

Two percent of the vote remains out, but that’s only because of absentee voting as well as the under-reported “they’re dead vote.”

People who are dead are allowed to vote if they’re able to use their reanimated hands to punch a hole in a ticket the size of a grapefruit, which is actually less of an ask than last midterm’s size of a basketball rule.

Nevertheless, this settles the debate once and for all, but not actually ever because half isn’t more or less than, that Jimmy Butler is a decent member of our species.

Did you know he charted a flight so his teammate could watch his little brother hoop it up for the Duke Blue Devils? It’s certainly worth noting the majority of the votes were cast before this information came to the surface. One can easily surmise, had that information been given to the general public beforehand, Jimmy Butler would have received more yes votes than those in the no category.

Tickle me fancy.