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Bulls suing Wolves for identity theft after Derrick Rose scores 50

Derrick Rose

“THE CHOKE is a parody website. Everything seen and heard here is purely for entertainment and comedic purposes.”

The Chicago Bulls are suing the Minnesota Timberwolves for identity theft following the 50-burger Derrick Rose dropped the other evening. Brand new reports, for what it is worth, say The Choke is being sued for using 50-burger ironically.

This is apparently a tricky situation. We’re roughly 24 hours removed from Derrick Rose confusing dinosaurs with chicken wings, opening up the possibilities over the idea he’s not even a real human in 2018. The Wolves can argue, at least in theory, the identity that is allegedly stolen is actually just the spirit of Rose hiding within the frame of a body that appears to be the player.

There’s more to it than even that. The Bulls, currently coached by Fred Hoiberg of Fred Hoiberg fame, didn’t really want Rose all that much back in the day. Now that it appears the guard is good to drop a 50-burger every once-in-his-entire-career, the franchise will be hard pressed to find a judge who will rule in their favor.

Furthermore, there’s a 99 percent chance Rose is still actually bad and that this lawsuit will be tossed out of court due to general fraudulence.